Couple Jokes

Wife: did you eat?

Husband: did you eat?

Wife: are you copying me?

Husband: are you copying me?

Wife: I Love You

Husband: yes, I already ate

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A couple in their 60's. A fairy comes and grants them both a wish.

Wife: I want to travel around the wor;d with my husband. Two tickets for cruise appear in her hand

Husband: Sorry love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.

Fairy waves her hand and husband turns 92!

Moral: Men should remember FAIRIES ARE FEMALES!!!

Pagal Ka Kya Hai!

Husband: agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to main PAGAL ho jaunga

Wife: dusri shadi to nahi karoge?

Husband: PAGAL ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai

What Is The Difference

What is the difference between POETRY and ESSAY?

Any word uttered by a GIRLFRIEND is a POETRY

while

Anything said by a WIFE is an ESSAY

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Wife: suno ji jab aapne pehli baar mera ghunghat uthaya to kaisa mehsoos hua?

Pati: mar he jata agar AAHAT dekhne ki aadat na hoti

I Wish You Were A Book

A man speaks 25,000 words daily and a woman speaks 30,000. But the problem starts when husband comes home after consuming his 25,000 and wife starts her 30,000.

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Wife: I am a book of your life

Husband: I wish you were a calender at least I could have changed you every year.

What Are You Looking For?

A husband was going through his marriage certificate very keenly.

Wife: what are you looking for from so long?

Husband: I am looking for the expiry date

A Couple Had Fight

A couple had fight one night. When they were going to bed -

Husband taunted: good night, mother of 3 kids

Wife replied: good night, father of none

Similarities between WIFE and EXAM

Similarities between WIFE and EXAM -

1. Lots of questions

2. Difficult to understand

3. Always require detailed explaination

4. Result always unexpected

Sun And Wife

What is the similarity between SUN and WIFE?

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ye he ki dono ki taraf aankh utha kar nahi dekha ja sakta!!!

Khane Mein Kya Khaoge?

Pati: aaj khane mein kya banaogi?

Biwi: jo tum kaho

Pati: daal chawal banao

Biwi: abhi kal he to khaye the

Pati: to sabji bana lo

Biwi: bachche nahi khate

Pati: fir keema

Biwi: mujhe allergy hai

Pati: paranthe bana lo

Biwi: raat ko paranthe kaun khata hai?

Pati: kadhi?

Biwi: dahi nahi hai

Pati: phir kya banaogi?

Biwi: jo tum kaho

Mareez Aur Hakim

Mareez: mujhe ajeeb si beemari ho gayi hai, jab meri biwi bolti hai to mujhe kuch sunai nahi deta

Hakim: ye beemari nahi tum par Allah ki Rehmat hai

Did You Call Me Dog?

Husband: kya tumne mujhe kutta kaha?

No answer

Husband asks again

But

No answer

Then again he asks

Wife: nahi kaha plz ab bhonkna band karo

Sagai Aur Shadi Ke Baad Difference

Sagai Ke Baad:

Boy: oh! iss din ka to main kab se intezar karta tha.

Girl: to main jaaun?

Boy: nahi bilkul nahi

Girl: do you love me?

Boy: haan, karta tha kartu hun aur karta rahunga?

Girl: kabhi mere sath dhokha karoge?

Boy: nahi, isse achcha to main mar jaun

Girl: would you like to kiss me?

Boy: yes, i like it

Girl: tum mujhe maroge?

Boy: nahi main aisa aadmi nahi hun

Girl: kya main tum pe vishvas kar sakti hun?

Boy: yes

Girl: oh darling!

Aur Shadi Ke Baad:

Neeche se upar padho

Everyone Makes Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes but only wives and girlfriends have got a GOD GIFTED talent of finding them, remembering them and reminding them throughout your life.

Patniyan Banate Samay

Patniyan banate samay Bhagwan ne kaha ki achchi aur samjhdar patniyan duniya ke har kaune mein milegi

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aur phir Bhagwan ne duniya gol bana di

Husband & Wife

Ek husband wife jhagad rahe the...

Husband: mujhe gussa mat dilao, nahi to mere andar ka jaanwar jaag jayega

Wife: to kya hua? main chuhe se nahi darti...

Patni Aur Bhoot

Achchi patni aur bhoot ek jaise hote hain...kyunki inki baatein to sab karte hain par inko aj tak dekha kisi ne nahi...

Pareshan Husband

Husband: main tumhari roz ki farmaaishon se tang aa gaya hun isliye khudkushi karne jaa raha hun

Wife: achcha ek white saree to dila do 13ve pe kya pehnugi?

Husband & Wife

Wife: tum ne kabhi socha ki meri shaadi kisi aur se ho jaati to kya hota?

Pati: nahi, maine kabhi kisi ka bura nahi socha

Maine Pochha Chand

Maine pochha chand se dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin?

Chaand ne kaha-

ek to main tere baap ka naukar nahi, dusri baat itni upar se kuch dikhta hai kya?

Husband & Wife

Wife: where will you take me on our 10th wedding anniversary?

Husband: we will go to African jungles...

Wife: great !!! and what about 25th anniversary?

Husband: i will bring you back