Present Day Technology

Present day technology of this funny world:
"Lemon juices are made from artificial flavours
and
Dish wash liquids with real lemon"!

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Boyfriend thought LOL means "Lots of love". So he sent the following text to his girlfriend - 
"You are the only girl in my life LOL..."

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Girls can never be equal to boys because it takes courage to wear the same clothes for a week and still think, "Abhi to kapde thik thak hain, do din aur chalenge."

Finding Love Is Like

Two men talking-
1st: I am getting married because I am tired of eating out, cleaning house and doing laundry
2nd: Strange! I am taking divorce for the same reason

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Finding love is like finding shoes. People look for good looking ones but somehow they end up with the ones they feel comfortable with.

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Son: Dad why doesn't law permit us to have more than one wife?
Dad: when you get married son, you'll realize that law is on our side...

Orange Ka Juice

Orange ka juice
My friends are kanjus

Aam ka achar
Hamesha bahane taiyaar

Ice cream ka cone
Na kare kabhi phone

Bahane hain easy
Kehte hain I am busy!

A Message To Heart

Always respect, honour and pray for those who helped you in your bad time. Also be thankful to bad time for showing you those who are yours.

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A message we all could use,

Dear Heart,

Please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood, that's it.

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Message by a confused alarm clock to dear human

.

.

.

you get mad when I wake you up

and

you also get mad when I don't wake you up

"chahta kya hai be tu?" (what do you want from me?)

Why Do We All Marry?

Great lines that suits many boys - It is said that if you close your eyes you see the person you love the most. When boys do that Slide Show begins...

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After an accident a very angry driver: I showed you the headlights and told you to go by side

Man: I also started the wipers and said no..no...no....no.....no

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Why do we all marry?

Because romance is not the only element of life. We should also know horror, terror, suspense, irony, stupidity and tragedy of life!

Funny Messages

Don't drink water without boiling or filtering because fishes swim in water without wearing huggies. Samjhe!!!

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Funny But True - If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one because if you truly loved the first one, you wouldn't have loved another.

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Girls gift each other -

flowers...

perfume...

necklece...

ear rings...

etc...

But what do boys gift each other?

"ye le ladki ka number, bas mera naam nahi aana chahiye".

You And I Were Hanging

Which is the most beautiful feeling in the world? When you try to look at your friend and you find that your friend is already looking at you.

Location: examination hall

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You and I were hanging below a helicopter holding a rope. The pilot said I must leave. I said, "I'll sacrifice for such a dear friend." You got so impressed that you clapped. Hahaha

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Husband: I need poison

Chemist: I can't sell until you show us prescription

Husband showed his wedding card.

Chemist: bas kar pagle rulayega kya, badi bottle dun ya chhoti?

Money Is Not Everything

A sentence in a magazine, "Always remember money is not everything in life, but make sure you earn sufficient before thinking such nonsense".

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Worst reply for an *I Love You*

Boy: I love you

Girl: hmm... aur bata, wassup...???

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People smoke for a few days and get addicted to it, but we have been studying since the age of 3, why the hell are we not getting addicted to it???

I am Not Sixty

Every girl needs a boyfriend because everyday, every minute, something goes wrong in her life which she can't blame on God or Government.

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Question for brilliant people

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

question only for brilliant people.

Aap chill maro!

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A quote on an old man's T-shirt -

I am not 60. I am 16 with 44 years of experience.

Think differently, attitude makes the difference.

To All My Well-Wishers

Boy: why did Gandhiji have no hair on his head?

Teacher: it is a sign of intelligence

Boy: now I understand why girls have so long hair

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Define woman:

One who can see a hair of a girl on the husband's coat from 20 metres away, but can't see a pillar 2 metres away while parking a car.

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To all my well-wishers who sent me love and best wishes in my life and prayed for my success and happiness... try harder guys its not properly working.

Difference Between Complete And Finish

Boyfriend: I cheated...

Girlfriend: So what? Do you think I love you? I was cheating on you for the past two years. You are just for fun!

Boyfriend cried and said: I was talking about my exams :-(

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Who says there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISH? Choose the right person and you are COMPLETE, choose the wrong one and you are FINISHED.

Who Is A Girl?

A girl is the one who before finding her love says -

"My love should be a perfect man"

"He should love me more than I do"

"He should never let me cry"

"He should always understand me"

But after finding her love, she says -

"So what if he is not perfect still he is the best for me"

"So what if he doesn't love me unconditionally, I love him"

"So what if he is not understanding me, I will understand and adjust because I can't loose him"

That's a girl! But many boys don't realise their importance and sacrifice.

When You Get Enough

When you get enough confidence, the stage is gone

When you are sure of losing, you win

When you need people the most, they leave you

When you learn to dry your tears, you find a shoulder to cry on

When you become busy, you get friends

When you master the skill of hating, somebody starts loving you

After waiting for dawn you fall asleep, and the sun comes out

That's life

Simply Unpredictable!!!

If You Are Not Having

A boy seeing his board result -

What! I have failed and that too in English.

UNPOSSIBLE!

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Attitude Shayari -

Those who know me, know me well

WAH - WAH

Those who know me, know me well

WAH - WAH

and

Those who don't know me, go to hell

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If you are not having a "GOOD DAY", don't worry. No problem, there are many other brands like

50-50, Little Hearts, Tiger etc

Try them

Tin Tin Tidin!!!

Friendship Is Not A Word

What's Ambition?

It is a poor excuse for not having a good sense to be LAZY!

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Friendship is not a word, not merely a relationship. It is a silent promise saying, "I was, I am and I will be a headache for you forever and ever."

Where's My B'day Gift?

Girl: where's my b'day gift?

Boy: you see that red hot ferrari on the other side of the road

Girl (excitingly): yes!

Boy: I am going to buy you a nailpolish of that same color

Women Are Like

Women are like Electric Current! If handled with care they will light up your life but if mishandled they will give you shocks throughout your life.

Time Decides Who You

Time decides who you

meet in life...

Your heart decides who you

want in life...

but

Your behaviour decides who

will stay with you in your life...

Koi Apko Jab

Koi aapko jab "PAAGAL" kahe to-

aap dukhi mat hona

afsos mat karna

rona bhi nahi

darna bhi mat

himmat se chair par baith ke sochna ke

"yaar isko pata kaise chala?"

Bete Tera Sawal Hai Nek

Bihar ki rajdhani hai Patna

waha ke hotel ki hai ek ghatna

ek budha aaya sath mein ek budhiya ko bhi laaya

hotel mein jaa kar waiter ko bulaya

dono ne apna-apna order mangwaya

pehle budhe ne khaya budhiya ne pankha hilaya

phir budhiya ne khaya budhe ne pankha hilaya

ye dekh ke waiter sharmaya aur usne farmaya

ae Laila Majnu ke maa baap

tum dono ne khana ek sath kyun nahi khaya?

iss par budhe ne farmaya

bete tera sawal hai nek

par kya kare hamare danto ka set hai ek