You Marry My Sister

Two boys were following two girls. Each girl took a Rakhi and tied to their hands and said, "What will you do now?"

Boys: Dude, you marry my sister, I'll marry your sister

*********

Ek Dost: what's the difference between COMPLETE and FINISH?

Dusra Dost: if you find a good wife you are COMPLETE otherwise you are FINISHED

Ek Zamana Tha

Dad: ek zamana tha jab main Rs 10/- mein kirana, sabzi, doodh, nashta le aata tha

Beta: ab aisa possible nahi papa kyunki sab jagah CCTV camere lage hote hain!

Beta Kabhi Na Karna

Papa Bole -

beta kabhi na karna shadi

ye hai jeevan ki barbaadi

Beta Bola -

papa main bhi farz nibhaunga

apne bachchon ko bhi yahi samjhaunga

Who Walks With You

Teacher: which bird flies the fastest?

Student: elephant

Teacher: silly boy, what does your father do?

Student: he is a DON of mumbai

Teacher: well done, elephant is the correct answer

*******

Chuhiya ped pe chadi to bandar ne pucha "Upar kyon aayi hai?"

Chuhiya: apple khane

Bandar: ye to aam ka ped hai

Chuhiya: tu zyada chaudhary mat ban apple sath layi hun

*******

Who walks with you through the difficult path of life?

your relatives - NO

your well wishers - NO

your lover - NO

your friends - NO

it's only your

CHAPPAL

think hatke, jiyo haske:-)

I Will Marry Only You

Girl: my mother really likes you

Boy (bashfully): whatever happens I will marry only you plz ask aunty to forget me

Mummy Ko Bolo Complan Pilaye

A girl was attempting suicide by hanging. A sardar saw this through window. Guess what he said? Latakne se height nahi badegi Mummy ko bolo complan pilaye!!!

Zindagi Ki Keemat

Zindagi ki keemat ka andaza maut ke baad he hota hai

.

.

.

For example

.

.

.

Zinda murgi

Rs 100/-

.

.

.

Chicken Tandoori

Rs 480/-

I am Your Son's

Lady on phone: I think you are the father of one of my kids

Man: Oh God! are you Ms Khan? Ms Naidu? Ms Kumar?

Lady in total confusion: No, I am your son's class teacher

Aadmi Ne Conductor Se Pucha

Ek aadmi ne conductor se pucha: aap kitne ghante bas mein rehte ho?

Conductor: 24 ghante

Aadmi: wo kaise?

Conductor: 8 ghante city "bus" mein 16 ghante biwi ke "bas" mein

Where Do You Tie Watch?

Most men tie the watch in their left hand

and

Most women tie the watch in their right hand

Do you know why?

.

.

.

.

.

to see the time yaar:-)

Ladke Darte Hain

na mom ki maar se

na dad ke atyachaar se

na dosto ki fatkar se

na ladki ke inkaar se

na chappalo ki bauchhar se

ladke darte hain to bas

Rakhi ke tyohaar se!!!

Traffic Cop & A Guy

A traffic cop stops a guy for speeding.

'I have been waiting all day for you' says the cop.

The guy replies, 'Well, I have got here as fast as I can.'

Will You Marry Me?

Girl: will you marry me?

Boy: nahi, hamare mein shadi relatives mein he hoti hai.

Maa ne Papa se ki, Di ne Jijaji se ki, Bhaiya ne bhabhi se ki, Main bhi apni Biwi se he karunga

Kaisi Ho Doctor Ki Shadi?

Doctor ki shadi kuch is tarah se honi chahiye ki doctor ki shadi lage.

Mehndi ki jagah Betadin Solution istemal ho,

Baraat ambulance mein jaye,

Phere Hospital mein ho,

Tasviron ki jagah X-Ray liya jaye aur kya khoob ho agar

Khane mein Vitamin B-Complex ki goli di jaye,

Mehmano ko Chai ya Cold Drink ki jagah Glucose Water ORS diya jaye,

Dulhe ke gale mein haar ki jagah Stethoscope lagaya jaye aur

Dulha shadi ke baad bole NEXT :-)

Nani Aur Padosan

Ek bachche ki nani usko godi leke boli soja Diploma soja.

Padosan: why you call him Diploma?

Nani: kyunki meri beti Delhi se diploma lene gayi thi isse leke aayi hai

Sagai Aur Shadi Ke Baad Difference

Sagai Ke Baad:

Boy: oh! iss din ka to main kab se intezar karta tha.

Girl: to main jaaun?

Boy: nahi bilkul nahi

Girl: do you love me?

Boy: haan, karta tha kartu hun aur karta rahunga?

Girl: kabhi mere sath dhokha karoge?

Boy: nahi, isse achcha to main mar jaun

Girl: would you like to kiss me?

Boy: yes, i like it

Girl: tum mujhe maroge?

Boy: nahi main aisa aadmi nahi hun

Girl: kya main tum pe vishvas kar sakti hun?

Boy: yes

Girl: oh darling!

Aur Shadi Ke Baad:

Neeche se upar padho

Lassi Ho Jaye

Musafir: beta aap mujhe thoda sa pani pila denge?

Bachcha: agar lassi ho jaye to?

Musafir: tab to bahut he achcha hai

Musafir ne 5 pyale lassi peene ke baad bachche se pucha. Kya tumhare ghar mein koi lassi nahi peeta?

Bachcha: peete to sab hain lekin aaj lassi mein MENDAK gir gaya tha.

Musafir ne pyala zameen par de mara.

Bachcha rote hoye bola: mummy inhone pyala tod diya ab hum kutte ko pani kisme pilayenge

Do Dost Aur Tent

Do dost safar pe TENT laga ke so gaye. Raat ko ek dost ki aankh khuli usne dusre dost ko jaga kar kaha aasman ki taraf dekh ke bata tujhe kya nazar aa raha hai?

Dusra bola: bahut sare sitare

Pehla bola: iss se kya pata chalta hai?

Dusra bola: aasman khoobsurat hai aur roshni bhi hai

Pehla bola: abey koi TENT utar kar le gaya hai

Support Your Family

Jab kisi ka bura waqt aata hai to uske saare dost aur pariwar uske sath khade hote hain. Yakeen na ho to kisi ki bhi SHAADI KA ALBUM dekh lo.

World Agar Bina

World agar bina girls ke ho jaye to kya hoga? Galiyan sunsan, College viraan, Duniya pareshan, Tanha insaan na Jaanu na Jaan har taraf bas JAI HANUMAN...