Whenever You Have A Problem

A boy romantically to hif girlfriend: I can see the whole world in your eyes.

A passerby listens and says: ring road pe kitna traffic hai zara dekhna

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Funny quote on a husband's T-shirt

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all girls are devils, but my wife is the Queen of them!!!

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Whenever you have a problem, just sing your favourite song, you will realize that the problem is better than your voice.

Men Understand Men Better

A village boy and girl were dating in a restaurant. The boy tried to ask for the menu but he didn't know how to say it, so he acted damn cool and said, "Umm waiter, syllabus please..."

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Men understand men better. Example -

Man: I want to buy a ladies watch.

Shopkeeper: Is it for your wife? Or shall I show a branded one!

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Old man marries a young girl. One person asks the girl, "What did you see in him for marriage?"

Girl: firstly his "In-come", secondly his "Din-kam" (less days)

Which Food Causes The Most Suffering?

In an African Safari a Lion suddenly bounced on the wife.

Wife: Shoot him! Shoot him!

Husband: Yes! Yes! I am changing the battery of my camera

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Husband msgs wife: Hi, what are you doing darling?

Wife: I am dying

Husband jumps with joy but types: Oh my darling how will I live without you?

Wife: You idiot I am dying my hair

Husband: Oh this english!

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A health forum speaker asks: "Which food causes the most suffering for years after eating it?" After a long silence, an old man answered, "WEDDING CAKE!"

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No one is as ugly as their driving licence picture nor as good looking as their Facebook profile picture.

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Beautiful lines for you:

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Next time I will send beautiful circles.... ok?

Remember These Two Words

Remember these two words, they will open many doors in life...

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1. Push

2. Pull

Ssssshhh no claps please...

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Seeing a Cockroach on our bed is nothing actually...

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The real problem starts when it disappears!!!

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God said: "I cannot be everywhere so I created MOTHER"

Devil replied: "Even I can't be everywhere, so I created MOTHER-IN-LAW"

My Wife Is With Me

Best Relationship Status - "Neither I am single nor committed, I am simply on reserve for the one who deserve."

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A man was asked to explain in English -

"Dukh hamesha sath rehta hai, par khushi aati jaati rehti hai".

Man replied: My wife is with me, but her sister comes and goes!

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There was a man who had six fingers. Everyone used to call him Radhe Shyam. Think why?

Think

Because Radhe Shyam was his name:-)

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Teacher to Electronics student: Naade ko english mein kya kehte hain?

Student: P.H.D

Teacher: what does it mean?

Student: Pajama Holding Device

Why Doesn't Law

Which is the 27th letter of English alphabets?

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Are you looking for an answer?

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Very Good!

Which school beta?

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Son: Dad, why doesn't law permit us to have more than one wife?

Dad: when you'll get married son, you'll realise that law is on our side

You Marry My Sister

Two boys were following two girls. Each girl took a Rakhi and tied to their hands and said, "What will you do now?"

Boys: Dude, you marry my sister, I'll marry your sister

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Ek Dost: what's the difference between COMPLETE and FINISH?

Dusra Dost: if you find a good wife you are COMPLETE otherwise you are FINISHED

Message Sending Failed

A boy went to a battery shop and asked to change battery.

The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga dun?

Boy: dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

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Ist Student: yaar, sir ka msg aaya hai ki aaj extra class hogi, kya karun?

IInd Student: 'message sending failed" likh ke bhej de

Aap Mere Se Pyaar Nai Karte!

Ist Friend: jab main chhota tha to Charminar se gir gaya tha

IInd Friend: fir tu mar gaya ya bach gaya?

Ist Friend: pata nahi main to chhota tha na!

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Wife: aap na mere se pyaar nai karte!

Husband gussay se apne 9 bachchon ki taraf ishara karte huye: toh ye phir maine NET se download kiye hain?

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Maths teacher: how can we distribute 8 mangoes among 6 people equally?

Student: mango shake bana ke de deyo sareyaan nu madam !

You Have Insufficient Balance

Interviewer: how will a man die without water?

Interviewee: if there'll be no water man will not be able to swim so he will drown and die

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A man dialed a phone number, a computerised female voice said: Sir, you have insufficient balance

Man: no problem Madam, talking to you is enough for me

Why So Faintly?

Ist Friend: whom are you talking to so faintly on phone?

IInd Friend: with sister

Ist Friend: then why so faintly?

IInd Friend: coz she is your sister

What Is Newton's Law?

A man married to a short girl. People asked him why he married such a short girl. He replied, "Musibat jitni chhoti ho utna he achcha hai".

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Sir: what is Newton's Law?

Student: Sir, I just remember the last part

Sir: ok, recite that

Student: "..... and this is called Newton's Law"

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A boy told his friend: a girl is smiling and looking at me

Friend: first confirm if she is smiling and looking at you or if she is looking and smiling at you

It Will Blast

Wife: don't put the mobile on charging at night, it will blast!

Husband: just shut up! and sleep, I have already taken out the battery

Mobile Marriage Service

Mobile Marriage Service -

Press 1 for marriage proposals

Press 2 for engagement

Press 3 for marriage

Ist Person: what should be pressed for second marriage?

IInd Person: first wife's neck

Titanic Doob Raha Tha

TITANIC doob raha tha, kisi ne puchcha, "Zameen yaha se kitni dur hai?"

Koi Bola: 3km

Aadmi ne pani mein jump laga ke puchcha "Kis taraf?"

Woh Bola: niche ki taraf

Kya Aapki Do Biwiyan Hai?

Ek Aadmi ki ek tang ki haddi toot gayi, hospital gaya to waha kisi aadmi ki dono tange tooti dekh kar bola, "Kya aapki 2 biwiyan hai?"

Husband Office Jaa Raha Tha

Husband office jaa raha tha. Patni pyaar se boli, "See you in the evening". Husband gusse se bola, "Dhamki kise de rahi hai? Main bhi tujhe dekh loonga".

Jin Ka Bachcha Kaisa Hota Hai?

Ek mele mein announced hua: ek bachcha mila hai, JIN ka hai aa kar le jaaiye

Ek aadmi aayaa aur bola: mujhe bhi dikhaao, JIN ka bachcha kaisa hota hai

Dusra Bachcha Do

Ek aadmi ke ghar beta hua. Aadmi ne use goud mein liya, to bachche ne susu kar diya.

Aadmi nurse se: dusra do ye LEAK ho raha hai

Itne Speed Breakers

Ek aadmi raat ko cycle le ke kabristan mein ghus gaya. Fir dusri side se bahar nikla aur paseena ponchh ke bola. Ye kaunsa road tha itne SPEED BREAKERS???